SHARING STORIES
Our blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless.
We believe that all moments should be celebrated whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost or moments where you healed yourself again and again.
We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating.
This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
The Next Right Thing
Jenna opens up about her mental health story, being a mother and moving through all of life's transitions.
We talked about therapy, everyday struggles, taking the next step and sooo much more. This is a real and raw conversation and we are so honoured for you to be a part of it.
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE ON APPLE & SPOTIFY
About Jenna Gouveia
Jenna is a wife, mother, friend, educator and passionate advocate for self love and resiliency. She has a love of learning and recently has found comfort in slowing down and taking time to move through life’s transitions, both big and small. Jenna is a recent YTT student who has been moved to reach more people and help them realize that they deserve to feel well too.
Jenna believes that we all deserve to know the love that we feel for a family member, friend, pet, child, tree. Loving ourselves in this same way is a journey that Jenna can still say that she on.
If you are loving every single thing about THIS IS WE, please show us some love by leaving a review or rating us on Apple Podcast & Spotify.
Help us grow this amazing community together.
The Power Of Sharing Your Story
Marsha shares her journey of sharing her story for the first time and how it has empowered her to help others do the same.
We talked about the speaking your inner truths, how sharing your story causes a ripple effect around the world and that there is no story is too small.
Listen to the full episode on Apple & Spotify
About Marsha Vanwynsberghe
Marsha Vanwynsberghe is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”. She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse that tore her family unit apart. Marsha has been published 7xs, most recently with her co-platform, Every Body Holds A Story, and she is on a mission to continue to help women and men to speak, share and publish their stories.
Through her tools, OUTSPOKEN NLP certification, programs, coaching, and podcast, Marsha teaches the power of Radical Responsibility and Owning Your Choices in your own life. She empowers people how to heal and own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses that create massive impact.
If you are loving every single thing about THIS IS WE, please show us some love by leaving a review or rating us on Apple Podcast & Spotify.
Help us grow this amazing community together.
Finding Me
When your world as you know it explodes.
That moment stands still , like a black and white photo from a life once lived.
That deep pit of constant nausea in my gut, a rapid pulse, dry mouth , and a stream of tears.
Breathless and somewhat lifeless.
It is what I experienced on a early October evening, as my husband of 35 yrs a man a person I believed to be my best friend for over 40 yrs, revealed to me that he was seeing someone, not just someone, the women he had an affair with 25 yrs earlier.
An affair I forgave, buried but did not forget.
I believed Love would heal all. I still believe that.
It’s honest communication that was missing.
It’s the Love of self that saves our bruised and battered hearts. I know this now.
The questions still linger.
Why didn’t t I see it coming?
Why am I not enough?
What’s wrong with me?
How did this happen twice?
How could I trust someone to break my heart yet again?
The first time I had young children and full time job to keep me busy.
I believe when he came back 2.5 yrs later it was because he loved me and our family, but did he really?
Did I waste 25 yrs loving someone who would never truly love me?
Dreams…. My dreams gone.
Not long after he left, the second time, I lost my job.
Everything I knew changed.
Now I was all alone, my biggest fear had come to be.
I retreated into myself, I stood strong to the outside world.
My inside world crumbled. I honestly felt I had no one to talk to.
I have many friends and a wonderful family that watched the first time, it was hard to fail again.
I really didn’t want my adult children to have to pick up my pieces as they had their own hearts to heal.
I needed to care for me, something I’ve not done well at in the past.
I needed to find me….start again.
I was never alone, never an exploring teen or adventitious adult.
I was Untethered.
I was alone, scared and empty.
This man my friend made a decision that fractured a whole family.
A community of lives and hearts, families were disrupted.
Where to start?
Who was I?
Not a wife, not a mother no longer a business person.
I understand fully the importance of Breath the inhale and the long extended exhale as we let those emotions move through us.
I’ve come to understand feet firmly planted.
It’s what I’ve taught others, now the practice.
I’ve had to dig deep, ride the waves and come up for air with a smile.
I now have the time to explore my needs, beliefs and desires to create new dreams build trust through courage, grit and resilience.
Some days it feels like an eternity and other days feel like yesterday and I’m back in the sadness.
But only for a brief minute.
Thank to all of those that have had my back. I am Grateful.
Hello I am Nina.
I am a strong, capable single Woman.
Written by Nina Patterson
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Sensitivity Is Your Superpower
Carly shares with us her story of being a child who is shy and sensitive and what it was like growing up in this world and how it ultimately led her to where she is today, helping others understand and expand their spiritual abilities.
LISTEN HERE
We talked about being an energy sponge and how you can protect your energy, how being sensitive can exactly be your superpower and sooo much more!
LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE ON APPLE & SPOTIFY
About Carly Pearce
Carly is a spiritual mentor & reiki master healer. Carly has been intuitive ever since she can remember & has now been running a business supporting others with her spiritual abilities for over 4 and a half years.
Carly offers reiki healing sessions, reiki trainings, content creation support & business mentoring. She is passionate about all things mental health & well being, as she herself has struggled with depression & ADHD. She loves to share spiritual education in hopes it helps others heal the way it helped her.
If you are loving every single thing about THIS IS WE, please show us some love by leaving a review or rating us on Apple & Spotify.
Help us grow this amazing community together.
We Are For You
There was a moment where i wanted to throw in the towel. a moment where i wanted to return everyone’s money and say “see you in the fall.” a moment where fear and ego started to take control and i began to lose sight of my why.
when i say this event challenged me, it really fucking challenged me.
i remember sitting in a cafe with my mom asking her how the fuck am i going to pull this off. in one hand everything was going beautifully; amazing sponsors, killer donations and the best speakers and in the other hand; i was seeking outside validation, moving into a scarcity mindset and feeling completely disconnected.
i was too busy trying to convince myself that it is all going to work without actually believing in myself. i was too busy living my own mind rather than taking a breath, giving myself grace that i truly deserved and allowing myself trust the process.
i eventually got there.
it took some time, extra love and a lot of talking it out but i got there. i began to shift my perspective and starting to enjoy the journey again.
events are not for me and my ego, they are for you. for you to come back home to yourself, to be reminded of the power that lives inside of you every single day and to feel inspired.
we summit, you have taught me that anything is possible, that dreams are worth chasing even when they are challenging at time and that when you serve from a place of love, the right people will find you.
Written by Portia Chambers, Founder of The WE Experience
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Introducing Our Founder, Portia Chambers!
You may recognize Portia as someone who pops into the WE social accounts from time to time and as the organizer of all of the WE events, but you may not know too much about her background and how the WE came to be. Part of this is intentional because she created the WE not for herself but for all women. But today, we are pulling back the curtain.
The WE came to Portia in a time of deep healing.
After selling her home-based cycling studio, The Den, Portia successfully started, grew and scaled a social media management business. As time went on much of her business centered around mindset practices while growing and scaling a business. She saw many around her struggling with comparison, burnout, and the frustrations of social media. So she added coaching services to help extend that human connection and share everything she learned along the way.
As her business grew, boundaries started to fade. Comparison set in. Something was missing. She didn’t find the same fulfillment that she previously felt in the studio or on the mat teaching yoga. She knew that she was happy, but she could be much happier.
The missing piece was community.
She turned to healing, meditation and manifested a business where women from all walks of life would be celebrated, come back to themselves, and embrace themselves as they are. No more, no less. Saying fuck it to the things that no longer serve you (“Fuck” is Portia’s love language, just ask her daughter and husband!)
And so the WE Experience was born.
The WE Experience was a response to the culture of toxic positivity, comparison, and isolation that women experience everywhere. Healing alone can be so isolating, but healing as a community is empowering. She never wanted the WE Experience to be solely for entrepreneurs because, at any given point in their lives and professions, women need to be supported. Celebrated. Empowered.
Portia created the WE social media account as a place where women can say “fuck it” to the expectations placed on their shoulders, take a moment to breathe and return to their authentic selves. She also started the WE blog, a place where women can share their stories about moments that left them breathless. Events to celebrate one another and a Membership to give women a space to feel connected, empowered, celebrated and inspired.
The WE Membership takes healing and community to a deeper level.
Here you will find expert-led monthly Masterclasses, huddles, and constant support from Portia and other members to help you through every point in your journey. There’s also a library of breathwork, yoga and meditations to feed your soul.
Portia's dedication to community comes naturally, since she is the first person to step up and empower women around her. If you are looking for someone who will be in your corner as a cheerleader in your business, in your life and in your healing journey, Portia will be there. Throughout her journey even leading up to the WE, she loved taking every opportunity to inspire and educate others. People who have worked with Portia rave about feeling famous, or like they are the only person in the room.
You will find Portia within the WE, fully dedicated to her community. Portia coaches each new member on how they can make the most out of their membership and helps connect them to like-minded women who have been in their shoes. She created a judgement-free space where women can come back to themselves and just be, because this is the energy that she cultivates wherever she goes.
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Life Before and After the “Fuck it” Moment.
“Fuck it, just hit send.”
Click.
Cue the tears. This moment really wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Since the advent of the great resignation, the gig economy, the self-employed, fun employment train…I knew my time was swiftly approaching.
I’ve been a writer my whole life. But society, bills, so-called logic, technology, timing, the internet and just being a millennial really got in the way. I’ll explain…
In high school, in the 12th grade, likely the night before I had to apply to universities to meet deadlines, in true aries fashion, I googled “highest paying job as a writer with highest success rate” (I wish I was kidding)
Screenwriter was the top result.
So that settled it.
I would write movies. How hard could it be, right? Off I went to film school. I eventually mixed in television and communications and marketing because it quickly became clear that this plan needed some contingencies.
I learned to fall deeply in love with the inner workings of broadcast, film, advertising. All of it was just a different way of storytelling which fascinated me to no end.
That dream of being a writer went on the back burner. It's hard to believe, but making money on the internet at that time was inconceivable. You could either be a starving poet struggling for a publisher, a broke blogger on Blogspot, or somehow won the lottery writing for a famous comedy sitcom in LA…there was no in between.
Or so I thought.
Fast forward 10 years out of school, a rampant virus tormenting the world and a little app called Instagram…and that dream became a possibility.
After much side hustling and online courses, I left my “dream job” working for a television company that I loved…for a company I knew would force me to grow. I did it because I knew this moment would come some day. And I wanted to be ready. A day where I can flip off my corporate life, bust through boundaries and triumphantly ride into the sunset with bags of money in tow.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t happen that way.
Fuck it…kind of felt like a failure.
Letting go of the version of myself that I was presenting for a long while was fucking hard. I had placed so much weight into this moment, and it wasn’t the happily ever after moment I expected.
A few months later, I’ve come to realize something that contraries all of the romantic stories we tell ourselves. All of the great motivational speakers don’t really mention it, you won’t find it on Tiktoks or coaching websites or sales marketing funnels hoping you will purchase a course or a service.
You get more than one moment.
You get more than one “aha” moment.
There is life after “fuck it”.
There is life after that big moment. And it can be just as messy and imperfect as it was before.
Rest assured you will still fall or fail or fuck up in your business, your dream job, your revelations.
And it’s okay.
Those big moments still happen, and you get more than one. Your first glowing review. Or your first referral. Your next fuck it moment. The next passion-fuelled hobby could be just around the corner. Your next revelation could be a phone call, a text message, a conversation, away.
Be ready for it!
Written by Anonymous
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
My Purpose
“I know I am on this earth for a reason. Show me what my purpose is and I will do it”
I used to sit in my car and say this myself over and over again
I was working a job I disliked
I was never living in the present moment
I felt like conversations were heavy and I always needed to be on the defensive
And it took me a year if not more to realize that asking myself this question wasn’t going to change anything
because I wasn’t actually ready to do something about it
I just wanted to know the answer and then decide if I wanted to do it
It wasn’t until I made changes in my personal life and work situation that something felt different
The needle was slowly moving but my mindset was still meh
But I was determined to start doing things for myself
To stop compromising
To stop waiting for others
So I went on my first solo trip to Paris to celebrate my birthday
and at the Sacré-Cœur Basilica I saw a painting of Jesus
and as I stood there (hungover) looking at it I said “okay. I am ready. I will do it”
For context, I am not a religious person, but there is something about this trip and this particular painting that flipped a switch
a few months after this trip I found myself reading my first personal development book
and shortly after bought a mindset course
and then things spiralled from there into creating my business to fulfill my purpose
I can’t quite pinpoint the AHA moment
I just took steps that felt good for my soul despite how terrified I was
There was no way I could have known what would come next
If I hadn’t just started taking action
I finally stopped feeling there was a purpose for me on this earth that I needed to find - I found it
Written by Anonymous
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Freedom is Possible
Cycling is my passion. I use a walker every day, and cycling gives me more freedom.
When I was one year old, I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy that affects the mobility of my legs. Doctors told my family that I would not walk, and that I would never be able to do things by myself. And I proved them all wrong. When I was a kid, I was using a wheelchair. I went to school and had physical therapy every week.
When I was 12, my parents bought me a bike that I could ride outside with, a large tricycle. I rode it back and forth down my street all summer long throughout middle school and high school.
I thought it was the most fun thing ever, and I felt like I was getting stronger.
I started using a walker more after high school. I was sick of sitting in one spot and not being able to easily move around. And with a wheelchair, you can’t go everywhere. With a walker, you can go into smaller spaces and it’s a little bit easier in general. I continued to ride my tricycle outdoors, and would do a 5K charity ride every year with my friends and family for Cerebral Palsy Alberta.
About 7 years ago, I decided I wanted to start going to the gym. I had moved to a new city and needed something to do. I didn’t know anybody, and thought it would be a good way to meet people. I would walk around the track and would jump on the exercise bike for the first couple months.
Then I hired a personal trainer, Dawn Sorsdahl. She helped me start strength training, using the TRX, hand weights and other machines at the gym. When my annual charity ride was around the corner in September 2015, I asked Dawn if she wanted to do it with me. Instead, she challenged me to do a 20K. The most I had ever done on my bike was a 10K. I looked at her and said, “You’re crazy!” And she responded, “What if we tried?” So I started upping my training, and it was amazing–in 4 months, I did my first 20K. We did it in over 2 hours. I was exhausted, but the next day I did another 4K in honor of Canadian runner Terry Fox. I was thoroughly exhausted and super sore for a couple weeks, but I did it.
I continued to challenge myself.
My brother challenged me to do a half marathon in 2016, and this time my response was, “I could do that.” Every day I was on the bike training at the gym and riding outside for a total of 3 hours while working two jobs. In July 2016, I did the MEC Half Marathon in Calgary, Alberta, on my tricycle, and my trainer Dawn ran beside me. It took us 2.5 hours, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But I did it!
I started doing more 20K races for cerebral palsy, raising money for the Cerebral Palsy Alberta. During COVID, I wasn’t able to go to the gym due to lockdowns, but bought a Schwinn exercise bike to use at home to continue riding. For my 40th birthday in 2021, I wanted to do something big, so I decided to climb the 11-story Memorial Stairs in north Calgary (without my walker). Everybody talks about how those are the hardest stairs to climb. It took me 40 minutes, but I showed everyone it was possible.
For 2022, I have set a new goal to log 2,000 kilometers (1242.742 miles) by the end of the year. I use Strava to keep track of how much I’ve done. It’s something I want to do to prove to myself that I can do it. I am on my bike 7 days a week. During the week I get up at 5:45 a.m., get dressed and jump on my bike and do 5-7km. Then I eat breakfast, go to the gym, train with my trainer Dawn or get on the bike again and do another 7-10km. I bike 50km a week or more.
I hit 2000km goal this year and I am so damn proud of myself!!!
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
To Forgive
If I look back on it now, I feel naive; a trait I thought I’d moved away from. Always thought “would never happen to me” or “I know I could take action in the moment”, but when the moment actually reared its ugly head - I froze. I tried to say no, I tried to fight but it wasn’t enough. It’s that story you hear, far too often...I thought I could trust him, I thought he was a friend. My guard was down. Trust and friendship established.
You took a lot more from me that night than you’ll ever realize.
A part of my soul, a glimmer of my sparkle, my fleeting sanity. From that day, for what seemed like an eternity, who I knew as “me” knew nothing of herself at all.
I wallowed in shame and guilt, embarrassment and disgust for months; choosing to see people in person increasingly less because it took so much energy to play “OK”. See, for most of my life I have been then one that doesn’t need checking on, the “I’m OK” even when the proverbial house is burning; some toxic mentality from my childhood trauma. So I never learned how to ask for help.
Forgiveness
But then I heard this sequence of quotes, “Forgiveness is, giving up the hope that the past could be any different...you think forgiving means to accept what happened to you, but in fact it’s accepting what HAS happened to you; not accepting that it was OK for it to happen. It’s letting go so that the past does not hold you prisoner, does not hold you hostage” and in that moment - I knew I had work to do, to forgive the universe (or god, or whatever you put faith in), to forgive the circumstance ... but more than anything to forgive myself. Forgive myself for ever thinking it was my fault, forgive myself for thinking I deserved it for being in a situation that “allowed” its existence, forgive myself for freezing and not being the saviour for myself, forgive myself for not loving myself enough to ask for help.
As the saying goes — time heals all wounds. Well, I half heartedly believe that; I more strongly believe that time, if you do the work, heals most parts of a wound.
...you took a lot more from me that night than you’ll ever realize...and though you’ll never see this, or know if it’s about you, I’m writing this for me; to let the universe know, that I’m taking it all back. My whole soul, all of my sparkle and so - much - more.
Written by Anonymous
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
This is My Story
Last week on IG I announced that I have been keeping a secret.
And now I’m putting it out there for the rest of the world through my blog. I hope you can understand why I’ve kept this quiet until now. Sometimes you just need time to come to grips with everything & get through one of the HARDEST times in your life.
This is my story.
On August 26th after 2 years of being monitored for something I felt in my right breast, my doctors visit didn’t go the way I expected. While doing a physical follow up exam, my doctor commented that the lump felt different than what was reported on my latest report. To ease her mind, and of course mine, she decided to err on the side of caution and ordered me a biopsy. On August 31 I had that biopsy. It was uncomfortable, nerve wracking, but ok. A few days later, before my follow up appointment, I got a notification that my results had been loaded into MyChart online, and I decided to read the results. By myself.
I couldn’t believe it when I read it. It was official. I have breast cancer. I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) at 46. Just a week before my 47th birthday.
The last month has been filled with appointments, blood tests, an MRI, injections, discussions around treatment options and finally had my surgery date booked.
Here I am. Or who I am now.
October 11th, 2022 was the last day of the real me. And Wednesday October 12th was the first day of the new me. In a new body that I don’t yet know how I’ll recognize, let alone deal with. But I will get there with time. You never think something like this can happen to you.
But life can change in the blink of an eye. So f*&k the BS guys. Get over the small stuff. And pay attention to what REALLY matters. It might sound cliche but I have a complete new outlook on life. And I will take NOTHING for granted. Stay tuned for more and whats next. Even I don’t know what that looks like just yet. But what I do know is I won’t let this stop me. As Sia says in her song, I’m unstoppable.
Written by Debbie Davidov
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
You Changed Me
It has been almost 3 years since losing you.
3 years of never forgetting you. 3 years wondering what life would be like if you were here. 3 whole years.
When I found out I was pregnant, a wave of emotions came over me. Sadness, uncertainty, excitement, anger, worry, happiness just to name a few.
It wasn’t suppose to happen. I thought that part of my life had come and gone. I was just getting my footing again, rediscovering who I was and starting something new.
But just like any “surprise”, the worry dissipated and excitement filled my being. We were all excited and couldn’t wait to see what adventures we would have together. It felt like I was living a second life since it has been 12 years since our last baby.
And in a blink of an eye, everything changed.
The routine testing didn’t go as planned but we stayed hopeful. More testing didn’t go as planned and we stayed hopeful, but after the last visit with the specialist, we couldn’t deny what was happening to our baby. And in four short months, you were gone.
I think the hardest part was the empty void inside of me. One moment you were there, and the next you were gone.
Grief took over my body.
An emotion that I was not familiar with and had no idea how to process. I'm pretty sure I cried more in those few months than I ever have in my entire life.
I cried because I lost you. I cried because I lost myself. I cried because I never knew how much I wanted you until you were gone. I cried because I knew I would never try again. I cried because I felt responsible.
Every season, every holiday, every milestone, I think of you. I think about what you would have loved doing, what your favourite foods would be, what your relationship would be with your sister, what adventure would be doing, what you would have taught me.
There isn’t a day I don’t wonder.
And as a sit a reflect on those days and the days after, I am filled once again with so many emotions. You changed the way I see the world. You changed how I live my life. You changed me. And ultimately made me a better person.
And every day I wish you were here especially this time of year. I would give anything to watch you discover and be amazed by this world. But I know you are around me, I see you and the little tricks you play. I love you my dear son. I will always love you.
Written by ANONYMOUS
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Surrender and Trust
In 2020 I decided to take the biggest risk I’ve ever taken and quit my full-time job of 10 years to pursue starting a business online in social media.
I was working full-time as a store manager for one of Canada's largest retail companies, lululemon, and although I loved my job there, I knew in my heart that it was not my forever home.
Leaving "What ifs"
I had spent almost 3 years prior to this decision going back and forth in my mind about what was next for me. I knew deep down I was craving a change in my career, but I let the fear and “what ifs” take over.
But then the pandemic hit and I felt like my whole life slowed down and got put into perspective.
I realized that all the “what ifs” were always going to be there and that there was no such thing as a “right time” to go for it.
So I said F IT ! I’m done. I’m ready to go ALL in and am choosing to trust where I'm feeling called to go.
The decision to leave at the time I did was risky for so many reasons. The pandemic had just hit and I was leaving behind a 100k salary job with amazing benefits for a business that was not yet off the ground.
Leaning Into What Was Possible
I had so many people questioning my decision but honestly I didn’t care anymore. I knew deep down this was the right decision. Every time I got scared or would hear the doubt creep in…l decided to lean into what was possible instead of what wasn't.
As soon as I knew I wanted to quit, I started to get my sh*it in order and created a plan. I immediately enrolled myself in an online digital marketing course. In my free time, I started practicing social media coaching on a few entrepreneurs I knew in the city.
Once I completed the course and started to grow more confident with what I was learning, I gave my notice to leave.
My New Reality
After 2 months of starting my business I was making a full-time income and I truly believe one of the biggest reasons I was able to gain momentum so quickly is because I decided to fully TRUST and believe in my vision.
Now, just over 2 years later, I recently launched my new agency @justpeachysocial and am very excited to be growing my business into a team.
Even though this journey has NOT been easy (lots of tears, challenges,and setbacks along the way too) It’s been SO worth it.
My reality is now something I used to dream about and it’s all because I decided to surrender and trust my intuition.
Written by Petra Pearce
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
My Mental Health Story
*Trigger Warning: Suicide and Abuse
I had briefly written about my mental health in my previous posts, but I didn’t dive into too many details. That’s because I was too afraid of how you would judge me as a person/therapist. Everyone has poor mental health but don’t necessarily have mental illnesses.
To tell you about my background, I was born in Hong Kong and I have a younger sister. I don’t remember much of my childhood. Yes, I’ve been seeking therapy for many years to deal with my insecurity and anxiety. Whenever a therapist asks about my childhood, I always tell them that I don’t remember. I was told, “You’ve been dissociating yourself from the trauma.” I didn’t recognize that I had a traumatic childhood until my therapist told me so. My mother was physically and emotionally abusive to me, and she continues to be emotionally abusive toward me to this day. I believe that “I’m not good enough” comes from my abused childhood. Aside from my mother’s abuse, one of my teachers used to embarrass me in front of my class all the time. I was also a victim of bullies my age throughout elementary school, and I didn’t understand why my classmates were picking on me.
A New Life in Canada
I was so happy that I started a new life when my family and I moved to Toronto, Canada, in the early 90s, during wintertime. When we moved here, it was -40, and the snow was up to my knee. It was such a significant impact as I had a hard time to adjust into a new environment. I continued to be a victim of bullying in both elementary and high schools. I hated my life so much, and I often asked myself, “How can these kids be so mean, and what did I ever do to them?” I remembered I always didn’t want to go to school because I was worried/scared of what they might do to me. I often had passive suicidal thoughts and attempted several times, but I wasn’t successful. I didn’t tell anyone because I had no idea where to go for help, and I had no idea how to stand up for myself either. There were tons of bystanders who were supposed to be “my friends,” but they didn’t do anything to help me. It was a dark time, and I felt so alone.
I want to let you know that we don’t discuss feelings/thoughts in Chinese culture. I’ve tried to talk about it several times, but I always got dismissed, and nobody taught me how to process my feelings/thoughts. That was tough for me as I continued to don’t have a close relationship with my family today.
My Mental Health Story Today
I continued to have anxiety and diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder as an adult. I began to work after I finished my Undergrad Degree, and I continued to have a hard time coping with stress. Also, I would always over-react, which led me to get in trouble in both my professional and personal life. I felt like nobody understood me until I started therapy and learned how my childhood had impacted my life. In each therapy session, I was always in tears discussing my past. It wasn’t an easy road as both of my mentor and therapist continued to dig deep to help me process the roots of my issues. I continued to learn to self-reflect and be self-aware of how I can be confident and not over-react in certain situations. It taught me how I could relate to my clients and allowed them to connect with me.
To be continued…
Written by Vera Cheng
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Keep An Open Mind
Keep an open mind.
I said this today on an IG live I was asked to join with The WE Experience.
I thought about it more after we spoke, and I can’t underestimate the importance of that statement.
Had I not had an open mind, a curiosity, frustration, determination and gumption I wouldn’t be where I am today.
(And today is better than 5 years ago)
I had debilitating migraines, other than a brain scan there was never any inquiry into what the actual cause was.
My brain was good so I was told to find my ‘cocktail’.
So I did, a prescription migraine pill and a muscle relaxer together did the trick as long as I caught it in time.
I was a pill popping sleep deprived, unbeknownst post-menopause ball of stress mom, wife, friend and first responder.
I was only getting worse, feeling worse and so lost that this was as good as it was gonna get.
Back to the open minded thing, I found people who resonated, who knew things I wanted to and were living proof.
So I trusted, I listened to them (and me), I borrowed their belief and rolled with it.
Whatever ‘it’ was, because truthfully it was everything.
From my diet and my supplements to the way I move and rest to what I say yes and no to.
It was baby steps but it was an overhaul. One piece at a time with the right people guiding me.
Outside the box.
A life coach, a therapist, a nutrition and hormone coach, a chiropractor, an osteopath, a homeopath, new friendships, new connections, new experiences and ultimately a new me.
Those migraines ? Gone.
Sleep deprivation ? Gone.
Hormones ? Balanced.
Holistically & naturally.
It didn’t happen overnight and I’m far from done, but here I am a hell of a lot different than I was 5 years ago.
My mind and body are connecting again - they were disconnected like so many of yours.
All because I had an open mind, a willingness to give things a shot and the determination and trust in myself to not quit.
So yeah… if I was to give you reading this one piece of unsolicited advice:
It’s just 4 words..
Keep an open mind.
You owe it to you.
Use me as your reminder & borrow my belief in you until have enough of your own.
Today was a good day.
Written by Erin M
In case you missed our Live with Erin on Instagram, watch it here.
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Who is Ashley, Anyway?
Who is Ashley?
I've always felt a little different. A little bit of an outsider to my own circle.
Often I heard what others thought about who I was, and brushed off how wildly inaccurate their interpretations felt.
I was waiting for the authentic parts of me to come out clear. The passion. The creativity. It was hard to understand why that was so difficult to do.
By the time I reached my twenties I had lived through hell. Abuse and trauma were the main markers for how I thought, felt and acted.
I hid what I could from the world.
I didn’t want anyone to know.
I didn’t want to believe that those things made me vulnerable.
I didn't want anyone to see how little control I really had. To the panic, the fear and the shame.
I wanted to be better than the things that happened to me.
Better than the experiences that made me feel that deep shame and fear.
I wanted to let go of it all without actually letting go. I wanted it to stay so far buried that I’d never face those painful memories again.
But it only got darker the deeper I pushed.
Over and over I heard people tell me how I needed to worry less. How safe I was.
But safety doesnt come from being told you're fine now.
Fear lives in the body.
The pain will not forget its way out.
The real release is messy.
Uncomfortable.
Even shocking at times.
I never wanted to be the victim but I kept playing the role in my mind.
I had to learn to let it all go, and it would take me some time.
I fell co-dependant to my relationship as mother. I used it in attempt to prove my worth, as raw and gritty as that is.
I poured every piece of me into being mother. It became my identity. For a time I believed my soul simply wouldn’t survive this body if it ever lost that role.
But as hard as I tried to create this perfect version, things always got harder. The energy pushed back at me.
I couldn't see it until I saw it.
I was sharing the pain instead of healing it.
Over time with much self exploration and learning, I stopped seeing my children as an extension of myself. I learned to unbind the tight knot I used to feel safe. Good intentions that were actually only serving to keep my wounds protected and deeply buried.
The work has always been to come back to myself. I don’t control anything outside of me.
Some days it's messy, more days it's beautiful.
But never perfect.
So I don't look at my children and expect them to be perfect either.
They prove to me every day that its okay to be a little different.
So who is Ashley anyway?
To be honest there are so many things that make me who I am it would be impossible to make a list of exactly that.
But I feel safe to say now that I am more than only a mother. And I know my kids want that for me. They want it for them too.
I do carry an honest deep love for my children and I’m grateful I took the time to learn to share that love with myself too.
The truth is, all those years I left her behind hoping one day she would just catch up.
Looking back to the past many years I spent healing and evolving, I was often asked who are you? What do you like? What brings you joy? Always the most difficult questions to answer, I truly never knew what to say. I loved spending time with my kids, but of course that answer was never enough.
Ask me today, and I will passionately tell you I also love taking photographs. I love walking through a forest of trees. I enjoy raw and honest story telling. I love having a handful of deep friendships that I am very loyal to. I so admire slow living and connecting to nature. I dream of a world where we raise our children to embody their individual soul expression. A time when we finally receive the message to look to the root not only the solution.
And finally, that I choose to stay the path. As many times as I’ve wanted to give up on the inner voice that pushes me towards discomfort…I value the messy, uneasy road of following my voice into the unknown.
I can say with no regret, I am a co-creator of my story. And…I get to choose which way to go next.
Written by Ashley Fazackerley
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
My Story
**TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE**
Currently I am a 56-year-old woman, and I am the owner and founder of Ms. Sweet Tooth Bakery. I began my journey in 2019 following my passion I have always loved to do all my life. I've been baking ever since I was a young girl with my mom & grandmother. I mostly tried recipes and did very basic cake decorating and baked cookies. As I grew older, I began perfecting many cake flavours but only baked for my family. One day someone said that I should sell my cakes.
I was told so often “Your cakes taste amazing” and this motivated me to give it a try. Until then I had never picked up a piping bag, however I decided to jump in with both feet.
I researched everything and watched videos and listened to what others in this industry had to say. Before I knew it, I was starting to receive orders. Today I continue to learn and practice and have really found my place in this space, when it comes to the style of cakes I love to create.
A lifelong dream
For many years, I was in the childcare industry as an ECE teacher. I took a break from it when I had children and stayed home to raise them, which was a lifelong dream for me. I loved every part of being a mom and still do today! My children are 27 & 25. Both of whom have their own lives and careers, and of course my biggest fans!
I always wanted to be married, have children and be a mother. I was 27 years old, and nobody was knocking on my door. Raised in a European and catholic household marriage was almost an expectation. I was told it’s the next stage of life.
Unfortunately, my marriage did not work out as I planned.
This is where my story takes a drastic turn and changed my life forever. I married a man who l probably knew deep down inside wasn’t the best person for me. There were some red flags that I chose to ignore. We got into heated disagreements, and I would sometimes get to the point of leaving the vehicle we were disputing in! I always hoped things would change and get better once we would get married, and of course they only became worse.
When I was 7 months pregnant (approx. 1 year after being married) he hit me for the very first time. That’s when I should have left! I was so embarrassed of what people would say. We spent so much money on our wedding to suddenly walk away, I thought that would be wrong! Coupled with the fact that he apologized “profusely” and that it would never happen again.
Well, it did for 19 years.
Protect and shelter
I endured not only so many different types of abuse, but also the fact I was living with a cocaine addict.
I never told anyone, and I mean no one, of the monster I was living with until so many years later! And I can't begin to tell you how many times I was kicked and dragged out of my own house! Too often I had to sleep in a freezing garage in the middle of winter. If it wasn’t the garage, it would be in the bushes of my own backyard! All I could think of was I wanted to be with my children who were inside with this man that was high and drunk. Years later and even today my children tell me or have told me they knew something was going on! They heard my cries and felt sad and afraid for me!
Things would be thrown at me, and items in the house were smashed into pieces and then I was told to clean it up! He never abused me Infront of my kids, confirming how cowardly he was!
The moment I confirmed their thoughts, it would then be true to them, and I could no longer do that to them. My mission was to protect & shelter them from their father and the horrible man he is. I was afraid for myself but at this point I was afraid for my children!
I had my ribs cracked 3 times, concussions, bruises. bloody noses, and punches to the head where I literally would see stars, and everything would go black!
The last straw came a few months before I left.
At 7:30am he began to yell at me for whatever reason. The children came running into our primary bathroom only to see that their father was abusing me with the buckle side of his belt as I lay on the bathroom floor! My son who was 15 at the time had to pull his father off me. You would think at that point I would have left. I know I should have, but I didn’t. I had done my research to know that at that time in 2013, children at the age of 16 & older could make their own decision as to who they wanted to live with, and there was no way that he was going to take my children from me! They were coming with me.
When I look back, I’m not sure if was coincidence or that God had a plan for me. That morning of my son's 16th Birthday, the phone rang after my ex-husband left the house to go to work. My son picks up the phone knowing it was his father via call display. He thought he was calling to wish him a happy birthday, because my son was not awake when his father left. Well, that is not what he was calling for. Instead, he hears these words being shouted at him “YOU AND YOUR MOTHER GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I KILL YOU BOTH” My son's reply to him “YOU EVER TOUCH MOM AGAIN AND I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF!”
It was at that moment that we left and never returned.
I have been divorced for 9 years this Sept. My ex-husband stole half of my life that I’ll never get back. However, I have 2 amazing children who I adore and love more than anything. My daughter wrote me a poem that was just for me that hangs proudly beside my bed. It is a description of how she viewed me and how she felt about the dynamics of our household. She does not have a relationship with her father and my son has been sucked into his father’s family nonsense. They have a lot of money, and they continually buy him. When you have a 17-year-old who has a father with lots of money that buys him everything he desires, it's very hard for him to choose reality. That is another conversation for another day.
A remarkable man
About 1 year after I became separated, I met the most amazing man who suddenly came into my life. As cheesy as it sounds, he was and is my “knight in shining amour”. I have never met a man quite as remarkable as he is. I can honestly say that we laugh every day and have disagreements very seldomly. He is making my second part of my life the most beautiful experience. We have a tremendous respect for one another, and truly love each other so very much!
We have been together ever since we have met. Although the first little bit was rocky as my son was not on board with me dating. However, time passed and he came to see how happy I was with Claudio. To date we moved from Woodbridge to Aurora. My children look to Claudio as their dad and have the greatest love and respect for him.
Written by Michele Detoro
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
Taking Back Control and Rising Above the Anxiety
Looking back at my life, I can say that I had a great upbringing. But even so, I felt like the black sheep in my family—the very emotional and highly sensitive one.
As a child, I was attention-seeking and needy. I remember that I would panic a lot. My parents could not drive long distances because I’d scream at the top of my lungs even after arriving at the destination. I’d suffer through many panic attacks and didn’t know why. Now, as a thirty-eight-year-old, I can still say that I’m the worst passenger. I don’t know what it is about being in a car that makes me anxious and uncomfortable.
As a teenager, I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), so our family doctor prescribed me antidepressants. I was on them for about a year. Sadly, within that time, the antidepressants did not help my anxiety. If anything, I felt worst. I was becoming even more anxious. And when I got off of them, I could not fall asleep. My mind was racing all the time. I would catastrophize every little thing, imagining the worst-case scenarios. Going through the motions of these feelings is debilitating. It’s as though I was losing grip and out of control. As a result, I sought to relieve myself through self-mediation. I started taking cough syrup and Nyquil to fall asleep. I was addicted to it for a year. And when my mom found out, she took it away from me.
Eventually, I resorted to engaging in breathing exercises to help me sleep.
Although falling asleep is not a central struggle, I must admit that now and then, I start to panic around bedtime. Early in young adulthood, around my twenties, I continued to experience high panic attacks. I found that nothing alleviated what I was feeling, so I resorted to using drugs and alcohol. But in the process, all I gained was the suppression of my anxiety disorder.
Nothing was helping me. And nothing was improving my state of mind.
I recall that after waking up from a whole night of partying, I would spend weeks upon weeks with horrible anxiety attacks. I’d fall asleep on floors, specifically the bathroom floor, because something about it was comforting. It was like my safe space.
These motions and waves of panic and anxiety felt overwhelming at times, but I didn’t know what to do nor how to approach it.
Something happened when I turned twenty-six—I had my first child. This brought on meaning and purpose to my life. Being a mother made me feel happier and helped me enjoy life. Maybe the fact that I was busy caring for my child helped decrease my anxiety. I was no longer my main focus. Now, it was my child who needed my love and attention.
After a year post-partum, I realized my self-esteem suffered greatly because of the insecurity I felt. I had gained one hundred pounds when I was pregnant with my son, which may have contributed to my insecurity. What I needed most was mental clarity.
Things shifted when my son was two years old—I started partying again.
I wanted to believe that the party life was helping my anxiety.
On the contrary, it was worsening what I felt. I constantly chased new highs, devoted my time to planning events, and was always excited about the next holiday or family party. This is how I lived amid busyness, waiting and living for the next best thing. Busy became a coping mechanism.
Life continued to take twists and turns. I went through a separation from my son’s dad. I remarried, and the man I married had a child from his previous marriage, so I became a bonus mom just like that.
By age 34, I gave birth to my second child. You could say that this was a pivotal moment in my life.
When my daughter was about six months old, I came face to face with an internal reality. I was not entirely happy with myself, yet a surge of motivation arose in me. I knew I could do better financially, physically, and in every way. And I believed this was my chance to focus on healing, growing, and transforming myself.
Though my time was limited, I knew I had to do something.
When my son was about six years old, I started noticing many symptoms of what I had experienced all my life in my son. I knew then that I had to begin doing my research and equip myself, so he wouldn’t have to go through what I went through all my life. Deep inside, a flame was ignited. It was clear that if things were going to change, I had to change. I had to become a beacon and guide for my son. To raise my children healthily, I had to rise above the emotions I felt and take back control.
Living with anxiety and experiencing episodes of panic is beyond simple and easy. It’s challenging and feels like harsh waves that do not cease.
At age 37, I discovered I was misdiagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). What I was really dealing with was ADHD. I understood that after all this time, the anxiety suppressed the ADHD, and when I had the tools to heal my anxiety, that is when my ADHD was no longer suppressed. It came out at full throttle.
One of the lessons that I learned from my experience is that it’s much harder to go against the wave than to surrender to them. Surrender in this context does not mean giving up.
It means that instead of resisting panic and anxiety, you focus, identify your triggers, process the emotions, engage in rational retrospection, and quiet the catastrophizing chatter.
You can take back control and learn to rise above restlessness.
You can rewire your brain to learn to respond to challenges in positive ways.
I welcome you to my world, mind, and life, dealing with utter feelings of helplessness due to my mental state.
Written by Shalene Martin
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
This is an Example of Chasing Your Dreams
this right here is an example of chasing your dreams. this is my dream.
if i had decided that other peoples opinions matter more than my opinion, we wouldn’t be sitting here today.
if i decided i wasn’t strong enough to do this or capable enough to do this, we wouldn’t be sitting here today.
if i decided my dreams were not worth chasing, we wouldn’t be sitting here today.
it's still hard to believe we are sitting here but here we are, experiencing it together.
i have always considered myself a bit dreamer chaser.
if i felt a pull towards something, i was going for it. jumping in with both feet and never look back.
and before you think i am this unstoppable dream chaser, there is always fear, self doubt and worry. negative thoughts that spiral around my dreams. but what keeps me moving forward because i know my dreams are bigger than all those feelings.
i always say, those feelings remind me that i'm alive.
it’s not about how fast i can achieve it or how big is it going to be, it is about trusting the process, learning lots along the way and watching it all unfold before my eyes.
it's a bit of a story on how i got here so let me take you back to last August.
in august, on the lions gate, i started too manifest this day. this event. i didn’t know all the details but what i did know is the energy i wanted to bring into this event, into this space. i could feel it swirling inside of me and i could no longer resist the pull. so i wrote everything down in my notes and started to create this dream.
after that day, it haunted me in my thoughts just waiting to get started.
the idea of this event started because i was missing connection, like real connection. face to face connection, that energetic dance between two people. and i felt a lot of people were missing that too.
most of my life has been about connection, and being surrounded by beautiful relationships .
and funny enough all of my businesses past and present, have rooted in connection.
whether i was on the mat teaching a class of yogis or spinning my heart out in my basement at the den, it was always about connecting with people.
it was a time where i realized i wasn’t as happy as i wanted to be.
i remember that moment so clearly, i was talking to my husband in the garage and i said “i am happy but i wanted to be happier. i have been happier” and after that moment, i knew i needed more.
it was a time where my business started to wear on me, a time where boundaries were a thing of the past and i started to feeling burnt the fuck out. the love that i once felt towards for my business had faded, had been lost and i was seeking more. i wanted more for myself, that i wanted to start loving what i was doing again.
and events have always had a special place in my heart.
i didn’t really know where to start but at a photoshoot with Shannon, i was telling her about my idea about this event and she was totally down and than i asked her if she would be interested in speaking. well, she said yes and knew there was no turning back.
a date was picked shortly after and shortly after that i asked Carly to be a part of the event and she said yes.
On October 1st, i posted about the event with no name or no location. i knew i had two amazing speakers, and a dream that was worth chasing.
the excitement was contagious. it reminded me of why i was doing this and gave me the spark to keep moving forward.
a month goes by and i put a deposit down on Event Mrkt. and it is really fucking happening now.
there is really no turning back at this point.
after the announcement of the event, the excitement started to faded and so did the spark inside of me. i knew deep down that this was so much more than one event but had no idea what it was going to look like.
my intuition was telling me to slow down but my ego wanted it to happen immediately.
it was interesting living in limbo.
so i sat and waited and trusted that it will come together when it needed to.
as this was all happening, i was still running my social media business and trying to navigate through burn out.
burn out was hard and it is still hard, and it made it really hard to trust the process, to trust to myself, to trust inner strength.
it was a time where i was always in negotiation with my body and mind and never felt like i was winning the battle. there were days it was hard to get out of bed, to hold conversations and to do daily tasks.
i felt defeated almost daily but continued to move forward regardless.
some days slowly and some days didn’t happen at all.
and as much as i wanted to feel like myself again, being burnt out lead me down a path of self discovery. i learned more about myself over these last few months than i have in years.
i redefined my version of success. i redefined what i wanted in a business and who i wanted to be as a business owner. and started to step into those shoes and started to show up as her.
i learned to rest. to listen. to be still. to love myself on all the days. to trust.
and through burn out, i found meditation.
meditation brought me to the we experience.
i had written down the name “the we experience” in my notes many months before this moment. the same note i wrote in August.
when i was meditating, i could i see it all. i felt it, it was right there. i could see the bigger picture, i could finally see these grand version taking shape.
when i opened my eyes, i immediately opened my notes and there it was. just waiting for me; the we experience; it was a surreal moment.
it’s a moment that still gives me butterflies to this day.
the event birthed from stepping outside of my comfort zone and trusting that it will all come together.
where the we experience was birthed through healing myself, from sitting still and listening to the depths of my soul.
and now the real fun starts.
i had a name! The WE Experience.
The WE in the WE Experience has many meanings and evolves just like us.
i knew from the moment i started this, that this wasn’t about me, it was bigger than me.
The WE Experience was create for you.
a community of women connected through healing, business, growth, evolution and so much more. it’s about bringing women together to celebrate one another, every single day. it’s about saying fuck it to the people, places and things aren’t serving you.
it's about moving forward in a way that is right for you and you only.
i have always said the WE Experience is my alter ego but that has changed now. i have embodied it now. it is a part of me.
i am the WE.
i give less fucks. i care less about what people think and know that i am worthy of all of this and more.
and i want everyone here to feel as if they are the WE inside of the WE experience.
if i listened to the opinions of others, we wouldn’t be here right now.
you know how many questions i get about the We Experience. what’s the purpose? your end goal and where it is going and what it is all about?
i knew from the get go that there would be people that got and people that didn’t. and i was okay was that.
i wasn’t going to trying to convince those that didn’t get to, to get it.
and there were a lot of people that didn’t get it.
don’t get my wrong, their opinions would eat away at me. i would go back and forth.
do i need to change this? should i explain it in a different way? should i press pause and re think this whole thing? am i say it wrong? why aren’t they getting it?
but i knew if i tried to make the we experience fit into other peoples version of what it should be and i would have lost it. i would have been that Portia last year, lost, and defeated.
i stuck with my vision. i could see it and i am so passionate about it. i was able to trust that it will take shape in time. that there was no need to rush for it all to come together.
i want to remind you that your dreams are worth chasing. that one you have been pushing off for the past year, the one that someone told you no one would buy into it, the one that hasn’t happened.
it is never too late.
i would say this event was a year in the making but in reality it was 16 years in the making. before having lily, 15 years ago my dream was to put on events. that is what i went to school for. but after having Lily, my life changed and those dreams were put on the back burner and honestly forgotten about.
here i am about to turn 36 this month and doing all of the things that felt were out of reach.
that i felt would never happen for me. i never thought i would part of such an amazing community of strong ass fucking women. i never thought i would be standing up here taking about my life. i never thought any of this would come true.
there will be no perfect moment or perfect start date.
jump in and take a chance. it is worth the risk.
yes, it will be scary. at times you may be filled with doubt and worry but you will over come it like you always do.
there will be moments of second guessing everything you have done and everything you are going to do. but there will be many moments of pure joy, many wins and many dance parties.
and you will find yourself again and again and again.
this right here is an example of chasing your dreams.
Written by Portia Chambers, Founder of The WE Experience
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.
What Losing My House In a Fire Taught Me About Showing Up for My Business
Back in January of this year, my family's home burned to the ground.
We weren’t living there at the time. We had recently purchased it and were doing some renovations before moving in.
Then there was a welding accident.
No one was hurt, thankfully.
My daughter was in daycare. I was sitting at my desk, writing an email to my list while my son was napping in the room across the hall. That’s when I got the call.
My husband (and business partner) phoned me on his way home from IKEA—he had just picked up new dressers for the kids’ rooms, which we were going to start decorating the next day.
He could see the smoke from the highway, two towns away.
We jumped into action mode. There was no time to grieve.
The house we were living in closed in two weeks. We called our realtor and she found us a rental within 48-hours. We packed up our house and moved into our new, temporary home with our toddler and 9-month-old baby in tow.
We spent the months to come unpacking our life while also engaging with insurance, lawyers, engineers, restoration companies, contractors, and the list goes on.
And somehow, we managed to handle it all without missing a beat in the business.
That’s the thing about being an entrepreneur – business doesn’t stop just because life happens.
And while it can be difficult to separate work from personal at times, this experience has reminded me that even when one area of your life is (literally) on fire, your business can still thrive.
I’m so thankful for the people, systems and relationships we’ve invested in to get us to this point.
In May, the house was finally knocked down. There’s nothing left of it. (Other than the garage – somehow it was untouched).
We’ve since had some time to process the whole thing, and I’ve realized…
Sometimes you have to let it all burn to the ground and start again.
Still, this season of life has been long and gruelling.
Over the last seven months, I’ve poured all of my energy into my family, my team and my clients.
And the truth is, this was still more than I could manage a lot of the time.
But I’ve been showing up anyway. By taking one step at a time. Putting one foot in front of the other.
And I’ll be honest, it’s felt almost impossible some days. It’s hard to lead a team when you’re struggling to hold yourself up. It’s hard to parent when you’re still healing.
It’s hard to show up on social media when you’re just trying to show up for yourself.
Still, you find a way to keep going. Little by little. Then eventually those small habits transform into massive momentum.
And while it can feel like you’re not seeing the results in the moment, over time, you look back and realize just how far you’ve come.
So, if you’ve been taking a hiatus from Instagram, or you’ve been holding yourself back from taking the leap, starting the business, or chasing that big goal, I hope this gives you the push you need to start to rebuild.
One brick at a time.
Right now, we’re looking at nothing but a giant hole in the ground. But by this time next year, we’ll be putting the finishing touches on our dream home.
It’s taking a lot longer than we intended, but it will be worth it.
Imagine what’s possible for you by this time next year, if you begin today…
In the end, it’s not about the speed, it’s about the results.
You don’t have to have it all figured out – you just have to start.
Here’s to new beginnings.
Written by Carly Ottaway
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments, whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
Here's what women are saying after writing their story:
“So surreal! I am so glad I could use this place to heal. It is perfect, it is supportive, it is beautiful. Thank you for this gift. I will cherish this opportunity forever.”
“It was such an interesting experience to write it. The process of writing it, is the moment that took my breath away.”
If this is speaking to you and would like to learn more contact us or fill out our submission form.
WE are a space where women can be celebrated and honoured just as they are; nothing more or less. We encourage you to be nosy and take a look around.
This space is for you. A place where you can be your badass self and surrounded by women raising the bar within themselves.