Life Before and After the “Fuck it” Moment.
“Fuck it, just hit send.”
Click.
Cue the tears. This moment really wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Since the advent of the great resignation, the gig economy, the self-employed, fun employment train…I knew my time was swiftly approaching.
I’ve been a writer my whole life. But society, bills, so-called logic, technology, timing, the internet and just being a millennial really got in the way. I’ll explain…
In high school, in the 12th grade, likely the night before I had to apply to universities to meet deadlines, in true aries fashion, I googled “highest paying job as a writer with highest success rate” (I wish I was kidding)
Screenwriter was the top result.
So that settled it.
I would write movies. How hard could it be, right? Off I went to film school. I eventually mixed in television and communications and marketing because it quickly became clear that this plan needed some contingencies.
I learned to fall deeply in love with the inner workings of broadcast, film, advertising. All of it was just a different way of storytelling which fascinated me to no end.
That dream of being a writer went on the back burner. It's hard to believe, but making money on the internet at that time was inconceivable. You could either be a starving poet struggling for a publisher, a broke blogger on Blogspot, or somehow won the lottery writing for a famous comedy sitcom in LA…there was no in between.
Or so I thought.
Fast forward 10 years out of school, a rampant virus tormenting the world and a little app called Instagram…and that dream became a possibility.
After much side hustling and online courses, I left my “dream job” working for a television company that I loved…for a company I knew would force me to grow. I did it because I knew this moment would come some day. And I wanted to be ready. A day where I can flip off my corporate life, bust through boundaries and triumphantly ride into the sunset with bags of money in tow.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t happen that way.
Fuck it…kind of felt like a failure.
Letting go of the version of myself that I was presenting for a long while was fucking hard. I had placed so much weight into this moment, and it wasn’t the happily ever after moment I expected.
A few months later, I’ve come to realize something that contraries all of the romantic stories we tell ourselves. All of the great motivational speakers don’t really mention it, you won’t find it on Tiktoks or coaching websites or sales marketing funnels hoping you will purchase a course or a service.
You get more than one moment.
You get more than one “aha” moment.
There is life after “fuck it”.
There is life after that big moment. And it can be just as messy and imperfect as it was before.
Rest assured you will still fall or fail or fuck up in your business, your dream job, your revelations.
And it’s okay.
Those big moments still happen, and you get more than one. Your first glowing review. Or your first referral. Your next fuck it moment. The next passion-fuelled hobby could be just around the corner. Your next revelation could be a phone call, a text message, a conversation, away.
Be ready for it!
Written by Anonymous
The WE blog is a collection of stories and journal entries from women sharing moments in their life that left them breathless. We believe in celebrating all moments. Whether they are the happiest moments of your life, moments that left you feeling lost. Or moments where you healed yourself again and again. We are here for all of it. No moment is too small. No moment isn’t worth celebrating. This is a safe space to share. A place where you can be yourself. A place to heal.
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